IGBOZURUOKE MEDIA

“To whom much is given, much is expected” they say, is an aphorism that does not seem to resonate with most Igbo women. If investigation is conducted to ascertain the amount of care and affections shown to females of the three major nationalities in Nigeria, Igbo women will certainly occupy the front seat. From the Igbo marriage system where a huge amount of goods and cash are showered to them and their parents before they are secured, to when they are finally led to eternal rest, the Igbo system remains a bulwark against unfair treatments to their ladies.

Regrettably, this gesture is hardly reciprocated. If you see a Nigerian female who shamelessly come out to openly castigate her culture, she is likely to be an Igbo woman. If there are those who flaunt their elevated status to denigrate the culture that propelled them to their enviable status, the Igbo among them will be enormous. In the same vein, 90% of Nigerian females who go to court to challenge their culture and traditions or those who grant unrestrained vituperations within and in far away media outlets against what they refer to as “coming from unhealthy cultural practices,” they are either female Igbo celebrities or those estranged with their spouses.

Ironically, the reason for this boldness and indecorous attitudes is due to the same Igbo philosophy that is egalitarian and shaped towards respect and devotion to Igbo women folk. Unlike in some other places, the Igbo culture, frowns at a family man who fails to take good care of his wife and children. In most Igbo community, if your household is impoverished, your kinsmen cannot respond to your greetings in the Igbo traditional way in any gathering you join.

A derogatory cartoon that surfaced sometime in the main-stream media where an Igbo man who was strolling with his wife, was  saddled with the objects they were going with including the baby and equally trying to cover her leisurely-walking wife with an umbrella, epitomizes this gesture. Although, the caption was in reference to a poor Igbo man struggling to protect his “high-bride-price cargo,” the depiction is what you find in Igbo men protecting and ensuring their wives have the best of lives.

An incident occurred in a nearby community to my place a decade ago. A newly married and learned couple just arrived. In Igbo culture, women, no matter their age or status are not allowed to sit at the head/beginning of a pew or at the outer part of any sitting arrangement at a gathering where men are present. This time-honoured tradition meant to prevent Igbo females in a gathering from being easy targets to invaders or a violent act from enemy/enemies, is observed in every Igbo community. Due to protests from the wife and the husband’s support, she was allowed to sit where she wanted.

 As the visit at a traditional funeral for an Igbo patriarch endured, activities including firing of canons began. Unfortunately, a tragedy occurred when a canon exploded and a shard of hot iron hit the lady and pierced her abdomen. Though everyone agreed that it was an accident and could have happen to anyone at the event but the matter was not seen and treated that way by the elders and the parents of the lady in particular.  While the elders from the community wanted to ascertain how their young males at the event allowed a-visiting-young woman to position herself where she was, the parents of the lady demanded to know why their daughter was allowed to sit at the entrance of a gathering.

At the end, while the young husband and his kinsmen were punished for their dereliction of Igbo rules, the new wife who survived by the skin of her teeth was penalized for being indecorous.

The import of this reference is to show that every act or process no matter how exclusive or discriminative they may look exist for a purpose and follows an arrangement long adopted and practiced in Igbo system. Unfortunately, most Igbo ladies in cahoots with the Christian religion and covetous of undue privileges see Igbo practices as draconian, outdated and discriminatory to women. Conveniently, they will cite areas where Igbo practices are bad, discriminatory or constrain them without pointing out where the same custom elevates and idolizes them. Again, their covetous appetites are blinded by a sycophancy in which they always fail to critically compare notes or acknowledge areas where their own custom is better and envied.

Female inheritance is practiced in less than 20% of societies of the nationalities in Nigeria. We have not seen, where any lady from the other climes goes to court to challenge that practice. In some areas in Yoruba land, a lady becomes a placeholder (a regent) after the demise of a king and relinquishes the post immediately a substantive one is appointed. It is not known in history where a Yoruba lady refuses to vacate the seat when it becomes necessary or approach the courts to make her the substantive. If it was in Igbo land, we would have been saddled with court cases where our ladies had gone to court to change the rule; after all, the Nigerian constitution gives them the same right to equally become ruling queens. Are Igbo ladies more educated or more sophisticated than the others?

In a post titled: “Nsukka Women Are the only Women that Will Tolerate a Cheating Husband even when You Rub it on Their Faces. That Is Why Anambra Men Dey Rrushe Our Girls. They No Go Say Pim,” that appeared on Linda Ikeji’s blogs on Wednesday, April 9, 2025, may have been meant as another hilarious piece by a netizen but it is in bad taste.  It portrays Nsukka women as morons and presented Anambra men as philanderers—which they are not.  

The lady, who claims to be from Nsukka, is nothing but an ignorant and indecorous attention-seeking Igbo lady who has spoken out of turn. I am neither from Nsukka nor Anambra but I am an Igbo cultural activist who has associated with Nsukka people while in Enugu. I want to make it clear that Nsukka women are simply obeying Igbo culture and that of Nsukka in particular. In Nsukka , like in some other places in Igbo land, a lady may be allowed certain liberties as a spinster but once she gets married, she must abandons such indulgences and becomes a submissive and chaste wife

Besides, Igbo tradition like in other indigenous cultures encourages sex escapades for men but not for women. The earlier Igbo women accept this fact, the better for Igbo households. It is mainly due to this reason that baby girls are circumcised in African societies. In a few Igbo societies, it is when a lady gets married that she is circumcised by the man who has just paid her bride price.

In the Owerri sub-cultural zone, if a wife disparages her husband for infidelity that didn’t take place in her matrimonial bed, she will be sanctioned and made to appease her husband by cooking a sumptuous meal with a well-prepared cockerel. In the same vein, a man who keeps to one wife in most African societies is considered as weak and tied to the apron strings of his wife, mainly by the womenfolk of that enclave. The sexual drive of a man and a woman are on different waves. A man can kill due to his testosterone upsurge. So, every society tries to accommodate this reality. If our females and the Christian religion prefers the sycophantic monogamy that orchestrates an incessant divorce system practiced by the Caucasian, for their selfish reasons, that is their cup of tea. Africans have a better system, polygamy, fits their nature, they will not abandon it for females who want to contest or compete with their spouses in extra-marital indulgence with “He is cheating on me” as their catchphrase.

Boniface Alanwoko